Rebecca is currently a Senior Associate with Gloria James-Civetta & Co. She graduated from the University of Manchester in 2014. She has been practising family law from the time of her training to date and is Mom to a very spoilt dachshund and a black tuxedo cat. Both cat and dog have attended hearings with Rebecca (over Zoom!) and they love it!

This Letter is addressed to her 20-year-old self who is just about to embark on her journey in law.

Dear 20-year-old Vath,

I know that things are a little hard right now. You have just spent the last week in the hospital for a relapse into depression. The last few months have been so painful, and there are times that you feel like you want to end it all. You feel like you’re at the lowest that you’ve ever been, like you’ll never be able to get out of this black hole.

Remember when Uncle H told you that “one day, you will wake up – and everything is going to be fine”? You were angry with him for belittling a condition that you had been struggling to overcome for the past year. Well, tomorrow is going to be that day, and you are going to wake up and realise that everything is going to be okay.

As ridiculous as it sounds, you will wake up feeling as though a giant weight has been lifted off your chest. While your thoughts and your life seemed hazy only a day before, it suddenly seems bright and clear now.

You will decide that you are applying to law school. You always wanted to be a lawyer but didn’t think that you were cut out for it. You are shy, reserved, and the lawyers that you’ve read or heard about are loud, aggressive, and extremely confident people. But you’ve spent the last year and a half working as a legal secretary, and that experience has given you the confidence that you can do this. You will ask Mom to bring your laptop to the hospital so you can start the application process, only to panic when you realise that it’s the last day for admissions. You didn’t even sit for the LSATS! Whatever you do, don’t worry because everything is going to fall into place.  

You will be discharged from the hospital in a few days, and a couple weeks later, you will receive your first university admission letter. You will break down and cry because you did not think it possible. You will also panic and worry about the school fees; but again, don’t worry, because everything will work itself out. You will excitedly accept an offer from the University of Manchester, fulfilling that dream of going to law school. This was the escape from home that you have always wanted.

Unfortunately, despite some positive strides in your recovery, you are also going to have a major setback: your application for a student visa would be rejected the day before your intended flight. You will cry in frustration, feeling the tug of that black hole again. Determined not to let that happen, you will remind yourself that everything happens for a reason. And so, despite all your excitement about starting a new chapter, you will defer your studies and apply for a visa the following year.

Don’t worry, you will not be wasting any time. You will intern with a small set up which will give you a lot of exposure into different areas: family law, criminal law, civil litigation, even trademark infringements! On your first day, you will turn up to work and be asked to sit in for an online PTC (JOL then!). The nervousness and excitement will fill you in equal measure.

Take in whatever you can. Because of the firm’s size, you will be able to get your feet very wet, learning everything from drafting legal pleadings, to drafting correspondence, to preparing bills, to attending meetings with clients. Your boss will give you all the autonomy and guidance you need. You will even get to experience working on a case before the Court of Appeal! Getting to meet and work with the (then) Dean of the National University of Singapore, Prof Tan Cheng Han, SC will be the highlight.

Take it all in Vath, because you will appear in the Court of Appeal ten years later, drafting the Appellant’s Case on your own and taking second chair in those proceedings. Guess what? You will win that appeal.

What I’m trying to tell you is simply this – take on whatever task that you are given with an open mind. Do not ever think it is something that is trivial or beneath you. From drafting, to filing documents, to delivering documents to another law firm – all of these little tasks will lay a firm foundation, giving you an edge that you need when you eventually join practice. You have never been academically inclined, and you will struggle through law school because of the sheer volume of academic texts but Vath, remember that you have always learnt best on the job. Trust me on this: your ability to observe others around you and learn on the job will make adjusting into practice a breeze.

I have to go now (work beckons!). Good luck on the journey Vath. It’s going to be a long one but I promise, you will love every bit of it. As you meander through the process, I want you to keep these things at the back of your mind and let them guide you:

1. Continue to be kind. It will be your strongest asset, but also your biggest weakness. You will be hurt by people taking advantage of your kindness, but that same kindness will help you interact with opposing counsels, and will warm your clients to a place of comfort and trust.

2.  Draw on your bad experiences – they will help you to empathise with your clients and your clients will appreciate your ability to give the perspective of a child of a broken marriage.

3.  Don’t panic – there is always a solution.

4.  Take on as much volunteer work as you can – pro bono cases, legal clinics – they will keep you grounded and remind you of what’s important in life.

With much love,

Future Vath from 2021