Claire read law at the University of Nottingham from 2013 to 2016 and was called to the bar in August 2018. Between June 2016 to March 2020, she trained and practised at a small general litigation firm, with a special focus on family law and commercial litigation. Thereafter, Claire moved into an in-house role at YTL PowerSeraya Pte Limited and then joined MINDEF as a Legal Counsel/Military Prosecutor after giving birth to her daughter in August 2020.

Prior to being called to the bar, Claire was a writer with one of Singapore’s most popular food and travel websites, Ladyironchef. She remains and will always be a foodie at heart.  

This letter is addressed to her 19-year-old self, two weeks into her first year in law school.

Dear Claire,

I’m sorry. You may think that life is tough now, but you’ve yet to have a glimpse of the struggles that lie ahead.

Your purpose in law

You never really pictured yourself as a lawyer; you wanted to be a vet. Yet at 19, your father insisted that you attend law school and graduate with a professional degree. It was to “protect you in case you got a divorce,” so he said, but you never really understood the significance of his words until years later. Don’t worry, it’s not what you think. You got married at 25, had a beautiful little daughter at 26. All is (mostly) well. But as someone who would come to love and value family law, this thought brought you far.

“How,” you may ask. Well, you’ll only discover it when you’re 23. I wouldn’t say that the study of family law could truly prepare you for the complexities of family law (emotional and legal, emphasis on the former). You’ll meet many clients with colourful personalities. You’ll wonder why this couple even got together if their characters were complete polar opposites. As you spend many hours every day being that shoulder to cry on for your clients (which some mentors disagreed with), you’ll come to realise why that sentence is precisely the basis of your entire career in family law. Your law degree isn’t just supposed to be used for the selfish purpose of protecting yourself. You will use your law degree to protect your clients, their children, and everyone around you.

And this doesn’t just apply to your career in family law. Surprise, surprise. You’ll start in general litigation, and will be thrown so many matters to deal with, even as a trainee. It’s part of the “next level of empowerment” to put it nicely. You will struggle, but you will enjoy it. You’ve never backed down from a challenge and have always given it your all. But hold yourself back. Life isn’t all about work and/or pleasing others. Focus on yourself where and when you can. Working in this industry, people will inevitably occupy so much of your time, so remember to spare some time for yourself too.

The truth that comes with tears

A little later down the road, you’ll come to realise that it is not just important to bloom where you’re planted. Trust me, you’re doing tons of blooming. Rather, it is important to be part of an organization that sees your worth, and values you. Stop comparing yourself against someone who has an unfair advantage, and stop craving for words of affirmation that are empty and mean nothing at all. Measure your success against the satisfaction that you bring your clients. Heed the advice of your loved ones and be brave enough to leave when you are forced to make decisions that are against your beliefs. You are worth much more than what you think you are worth. Trust me, there will be companies and organizations who see your value, and they will acknowledge your sacrifices. By their actions, you will know: this is where you belong, and where you will belong.  

Ironically, although you are an advocate, you don’t advocate enough for yourself. Fight for your ideas, fight for you. Keep pushing on when others force you to shut up, and don’t ever give up on yourself. You are young, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have a voice. If you can’t speak up for yourself, how can you speak up for others? Trust me, when you finally advocate for yourself, you will feel so liberated. And if your words are brushed aside? It’s alright, at least you’ve been heard. That’s half the job done.

Also, the practice of the law extends beyond the Courts. It applies to everything that we see, touch, and do. You’ve always wanted to be a mother, and I’m glad to report that you’ll become one (albeit a little earlier than expected, and through a more challenging pregnancy and delivery than expected). As a lawyer, you’ll know how to protect your daughter. As a family lawyer, you’ll know how important it is to establish a nurturing and safe environment for your daughter to grow up in. You’ll recognize the issues/triggers that could affect a stable marriage, and you’ll be mindful of how these issues could affect your daughter, and her psychological wellbeing. You’ll know how much healing the world craves, and you’ll have the tools to do something about it.

You will cry buckets of tears. But that’s just a part of growth. You’re going to make tons of emotional mistakes. Make them anyway. This is only the beginning of your journey, so hang on. Fight the good fight, keep the faith, and finish the race.

In His Love and mine,

Your slightly wiser self, Claire.